Captain Swallow

I have like the best colleagues ever! We have this ritual we perform every morning….we all come with our different foods, drinks, snacks and all we plan to have for breakfast and display them on our oga’s table. Yup! We have a buffet every morning at my office, my Unit actually. It’s the best part of coming to work in the morning. You get to dip your fingers into foil papers, coolers, plates, saucers and trays. It’s always a food galore!

Well, everything has its good and bad sides. Not like anything horrible happened, it’s more like survival of the fittest kind of thing. I got to learn that while people take time to chew food, others allow their stomach or throats to do the chewing, some people DON’T chew food…they just throw it down their oesophagus. Believe it or not, I saw it with my own eyes. Every time we all gather around to eat, somehow the food just seems to vanish faster than normal. It’s not an exaggeration; imagine for example, a picnic sized food warmer filled with rice, a bowl of pap, 150cl of orange juice, fried yams rolled in eggs, fruit salad, bread, sandwich and a few other chop-chop things; all finishing in about 8mins! We are seven in my Unit that enjoy this breakfast buffet, something isn’t right somewhere.

Before it seems as if my doing-doing is too much, I’m not the only person who noticed. So one day, I decided to watch out for who the food villain was…lol! The person has earned the title. Okay…. we gathered around as usual and started dipping and fetching and all that, I decided to sacrifice my usual large portion of everything and took just a few portions…of everything (I love food just like you). Sitting back and joining in in the gists and laughs, then BINGO! The food villain was spotted….this guy swallows food like a python. His throat practically expands and you can see the food making its way down to his stomach. I was amazed. This was like a huge discovery, I tell you! And here I was thinking all the best captions of the wonders of the world are only seen on the Discovery Channel….this guy should be added to the wonders of the world…for real o!

In my state of awe, I called his name out and burst out in laughter…you know that moment when you start laughing so hard and other people join you without even knowing why you were laughing. That was the moment! I wish I could say his name here but I’m being given the “death stare” right now.

I hope that with this little piece of mine, I will not be swallowed-up by my colleague in the food…the field, sorry!