Saturday, March 29, 2014

THE WOMAN I HAVE BECOME! 2

I spent the whole night pondering on Simon's attitude towards me the last couple of months. I had never in all our sweet 8years relationship ever thought it would get to this. I felt like I was paying him a few Naira to be my fiance and his actions were like a protest to the poor "relationship allowance". I have dated a few men....had my heart broken, but non of those relationships were this hurtful.

I got up from the bed to do a few chores without a word to him as I walked past him trying to make himself a cup of tea. He said goodmorning to me...I looked at him over my shoulders and smiled. After the chores, I had my bath, took my time to wear a full make-up (something I hadn't done in like forever), I picked out a nice dress, sandals and my bag....all the while I was dressing, I wasn't sure I was going anywhere. As I got to the door....I said to him..."I'll be out with friends....see you later"! He was about to say something when I shut the door and walked to my car. I started the engine, did a second check on my make-up through the rear-mirror....smiled and drove off!

I parked about three streets away to call Salim.....my very good friend....we actually had been naughty a few times but still remained good friends. When we were friends with benefits, there were no jealousy or fights or anything like that....it was the best relationship i had ever been in. I drove to his house, quite close to my office and spent the entire afternoon telling him about Simon's new attitude and how it made me feel. What he did the previous night was the height of it all.....I could only believe that he made everything up just to have an excuse to hang-out with whoever that girl on the phone was. Salim thought I had to catch him red-handed before concluding on that! We took a drive in his car to the cinema.....had ice-cream and a few shots of Vodka and Coke. I needed to shop for a few things, so he took me to a super-store where I picked three bottles of different alcoholic wines....including Absolut Vodka......lol!

Back at Salim's house, it was close to 8pm and we had been drinking. He got up to receive a call in the kitchen.....it was definitely a lady. When he got back, I told him I was leaving..."I didn't mean to bore you with my relationship problems". I held my sandals in my hand and dragged my bag on the floor. Getting to the door, he held my hand and said he wanted me to stay.....I pulled the door open and just there infront of me, was the pretty Samira! She and Salim were dating when I had stuff with him....she hated me and still did...she stared the living soul out of me. At that moment, I found my way around her and walked away. I got to my car and couldn't find my keys.....I leaned over the trunk of  my car and cried....I felt unwanted and hopeless. I could not go back into the house, I was crying for so many reasons....the man I called my fiance hadn't called to check on me...he was probably having a swell time in the house without missing me. I called Nike to spend the night at her house....she didn't pick, at that point, I felt like my life was over! I decided to damn whatever was going to happen and went to get my keys....just before I got to the door, Samira stormed out of the house...she looked me dead in the eyes and said "I hope you are happy now!"

Salim came out to meet me by the door and gave me a warm hug....that made me pour out all the emotions that burdened me. It was about 10.30pm and I had slept-off.....there were no missed calls from Simon....no chats...nothing! I turned to the other side of the bed and found Salim asleep. I moved over to him and cuddled up on his chest. He put his arms around me and kissed my fore-head....I told him Simon didn't call me and he said "your mouth stinks"....we both laughed and he said something to me that made my heart melt. He said to me..."you were never meant to be with him....but I'm glad I have you back!"

I slept in Salim's arms without any feel of guilt. By morning, he brought out an old gown I left at his place back in the days. I got dressed and went home. Simon was home....he greeted me with a hug and said we needed to talk. I was expecting a break-up from him....I didn't care anymore! He went down on his knees and begged me not to leave him....he said he had been really nasty to me and had realised that I would be forced into the arms of another man. Forced?...."I volunteered to have a man's arms around me"....I thought to myself. I felt no guilt.....but I could not tell him this! I pulled him up and told him it was fine, told him I was out with friends and we had alot to drink....I went up to sleep but spent well over 45mins chatting with Salim. I got up around 4pm....Simon had prepared lunch and ironed the clothes I brought out for work for the week ahead.

Monday morning at work.......I kept checking the clock in anticipation for luch time. I had a date with Salim at Dunes and I planned to call in sick after that so we could spend the whole day together before I had to return home. When Simon didn't see me at 8pm, he called and I told him we had one of those long meetings at Sheraton..."I'll sleep over at Nike's if we stay too long!"....told him I would call all the same. I always found it difficult to lie to Simon, but somehow I felt like being with Salim was a good-enough reason to. I spent the night at Salim's.....and I realised how much I had missed him with just the feel of his lips on mine. We were all over each other.....and this was all I wanted...to be with Salim.

Getting to work the next day......Simon was there at my office, discussing with my boss....I went to meet them and Simon just said "hello" and walked out. My boss looked at me with judging eyes and I knew shit was about to go down! He said to me, "Miss Farida...sit down please, we have to talk"!

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

THE WOMAN I HAVE BECOME!....1

I clean the house, cook for him, wash his clothes, give him a massage, run errands for him, pick out his clothes everyday.....he practically owns my life! I have no plans for myself because he comes first. Usually, I don't count stuff like this...."I did this for you or did that just to please you...."; it has never been my thing.

Simon and I have been dating for about 8years....eight solid years, never had a break inbetween, not that the journey has been smooth. We fight at least every 2hours....but we make up almost immediately. We never go to bed without setting the records straight. Simon proposed to me like 3years into our relationship...ofcourse i said yes! He asked me to move into his 2bedroom flat in the heart of Abuja....the part of Abuja some people won't accept is Maitama. Anyway, we live together in Maitama.....he works at one of the big banks in Nigeria and is well paid. Every weekend, Simon takes me out and shops for me at the most expensive stores in Abuja. He caters for my every need and is such a gentleman......till I started working!

February 7th, 2012, I got a job as an Executive Manager at one of the Telephone Service Providers in Abuja with a whooping take home pay and an official car. When I broke the news to Simon, he was more than happy and even taught me how to drive in a week so I could drive myself to and from work. Initially, the whole shuttlinng between work and house chores were telling on me, but I managed to adjust to the changes. I cook for Simon every morning, and prepare lunch too when he has no time to go eat out...yes! I use my lunch time to prepare his lunch and end up tired and hungry because I have to rush back to work after sacrificing my lunch break. My friends all think I have been "jazzed" or that I'm just plain stupid! The other day, Nike was furious when I got suspended from work for reporting  late....three times in a row. All my friends don't like Simon....but that didn't make me break-up with him. I love him so much!

Sometime in July, 2013.....I would never forget this day. Simon called me while I was at work and "ordered" me to come home to see the mess I had made in the kitchen in the name of cooking. I told him I had an urgent meeting in the next couple of minutes with my boss and the Board members, but he just got so furious and called me a "bitch"!!! I thought i heard wrongly.....so, after the meeting ended at about 8:36pm, I rushed home....went straight to the kitchen to see the "mess" (which turned out to be a few dirty dishes and an oil stain on the kitchen floor) and to find out from Simon if I actually heard him call me THAT. I called out to him from the kitchen, to the sitting-room and found him sitting on the toilet floor cutting his nails.

"Hi sweets"...I said to him...."hey"...he replied! So I went straight to the point and asked him if he actually used the "B" word on me earlier on. He looked up at me and said..."you think I don't know how you got this stupid excuse to sleep around you call a job"? He just accused me of not only cheating o....but also sleeping around. Simon.....the man I have loved like a woman would love her husband......the same Simon I quarrelled with Biola over....Simon who I got suspended from work for and had over 20k deducted from my salary!!! I looked at him and walked out of the room to the kitchen. As I washed the dishes, I had a million questions flying through me. Is this love or am i scared of lonliness? Should I walk away or will it get better?....I went to the room, picked my official phone from my bag, and came back to the kitchen to call Nike.

Nike and I have been friends since child-hood.....we are like sisters. "Babe, I need to talk to you"...... I told her all that happened because I wasn't sure if I was wrong or just being selfish.......Simon has changed in just few months of my new job appointment. Nike said she would come over to the office at my lunch break so we could talk about the whole thing. Immediately I hung-up, Simon's voice startled me..."give me that phone!"....."who were you talking to?"....."you have even brought your whoring attitude to my house"......."I was talking to Nike" I replied...he ignored me and kept scrolling through the phone obviously searching for something to pin-point on me. After a few minutes, he stared at me and asked who I was talking to again.....I tried to explain to him that I don't have Nike's number saved on the phone but he didn't believe me. He just smiled and said "Farida....you are just a pathetic liar"......he stormed out of the house and didn't come back home that night. At 2:23am, he mistakenly dialled my number and I heard him having a conversation with another woman!
 He came back the next day after the close of work with an Estee Lauder perfume for me to say sorry for over-reacting the night before.....or was it for the guilt that was eating him up?