A MAN IN THE EYES OF A WOMAN! - 1

There is a boy before there is a man; every male has to pass through this stage before he can be called a mature man! It’s the same way we crawl before we walk and then run eventually. But, there is no way you can be both at the same time, you either are a boy or a man….no such thing as a boy O’man….lol.

Recent arguments have revealed that a lot of men are just boys being displayed in mature images. The real person is enclosed in what we see on the outside, getting closer and interacting with this category of “men” is the only way we can get to know who they truly are.

I read an article in one of our local magazines about a man who complained that he was being disrespected by his wife and all sort of things….he seemed to be terribly bitter about his wife’s attitude towards him. He gave a lot of instances; there was a time when he had his friends over and he called his wife out to serve them some drinks from the fridge which he bought the night before. His wife then peeped through the curtain and asked him to please give her a minute, when he went to her, she told him she gave two of the seven drinks he got to her friends and asked if she could mix them up with some other brands in the fridge. Our man here said he got too upset he couldn’t bottle-up his anger. He started talking about how he is the man and everything must pass through him before a decision is taken…..in the end, he made his wife go out (on a Sunday night) to replace the drinks she served her friends and made her apologize to his friends for it!

If you ask me, this isn’t the way a mature married man should behave or handle such a situation...no man should act this way. It’s a different thing if he gave an instruction that nobody should touch those particular drinks he bought. A man is a man by the way he speaks, acts and carries himself. You don’t have to make so much noise about being the man…unknown to you; you begin to sound like a fish seller in the market. Your wife offends you and you make so much noise people begin to wonder what part the woman plays in the house….you have unconsciously taken her part (nagging)!

I believe there are many ways to curb a woman’s excesses and put her in her place without giving a speech about how you are the man and all of that crap.

I visited a friend about 3weeks after her wedding in Kaduna, while we were discussing about how marriage is so far, she opened up to me that she got her husband angry and by what she told me; I know about seven men who would talk about it every anniversary of the offence. She said her husband called her into the privacy of their bedroom, asked her to sit on his laps and told her that he was very upset by what she did….told her he expected more from her than that and never ever again should it repeat itself. Told her not to apologize because he just talked about it, but to do what is right. He asked her to get up, said he was going to have a shower and would like to sleep afterwards. When I asked her if he spoke to her the next morning, she smiled and said they still spoke for about 10mins after his shower! No screaming, no nagging…..nothing; just a mature way of making it clear in your home that “I am the man”!

Some men would read this and say he’s weak or it depends on the woman. How you run your home gives birth to how your home appears both to you and those around you. You don’t have to demand respect, your attitude, the way you talk, how you handle situations should attract respect. A real man knows these things. A woman would only speak to you rudely if you don’t respect her….that does not in any way mean that she shouldn’t play her roles as a wife should to her husband. She should love, respect, be submissive amongst other things. But just as a man has got EGO so has a woman got PRIDE, but every good woman knows to bring her pride down before her man….in the end, the man is a woman’s pride. No woman wants her pride to be the reason why she dreads going home after work or fret at the sound of his car pulling over at the garage.

A man should not because he is the man treat his wife in a way he would not be treated, he is a leader not a dictator…he is to lead by examples (good examples) not to be feared. God alone is to be feared, and even the Holy Bible says that the man should love his wife even as Christ loves the Church. Marriage makes a man and a woman one- none should suffer, none should thrive to be happy, it should come naturally.